Rejoice and Praise
“And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” (Luke 2:10)
My heart is filled with joy as Christmas Day draws near. I celebrate knowing our Savior is born. Yet, Christmas also has a piece of sorrow that rest upon me as well. It will forever be tied to the season of Leo’s passing.
I can see the room so clearly. Lights twinkling. The walls closing in as the number of family members expand beyond the space provided. Conversations erupt, and the volume of merriment grows. Bells begin to jingle and a faint voice of “Ho Ho Ho” breaks through the barrier of sound.
Leo’s weary body stretched out across the couch begins to quiver with excitement. Trying to turn his head in the direction of the voice he knows so well. The room is filled with joy as Leo’s laughter expands to the hearts of all those surrounding him. Unable to catch his breath within his own laughter, Leo has me taking the breath for him as I encourage him to breathe.
Then only a few days later, another familiar voice calls to him. “Leo, it is time to come home.” A fever consumes his body and his final breath leaves me unable to breathe. My heart is pierced. I am wounded and empty.
I stood beside my son. He lay in the same position that I looked upon for years. He looked peaceful. No longer suffering, no longer in pain. As his body cooled, a rush of warmth filled me. A whisper from the Holy Spirit reminding me to breathe. For the two of us were one, and I didn’t know how to go on without him.
Then, I heard the voice of Leo. “You got this, Mommy. Remember the training. It was for more than me. It is for all those that believe in Jesus.”
I will rejoice and praise His name. He is a loving Father who cares for His children. He covered my heart with peace and replaced my sorrow with Joy. He restores my broken heart because He filled it with His love.