Armor of God
“Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.”(Ephesians 6:11)
Uncertainty weighs heavily on my mind. My heart begins to beat faster. Sitting in the midst of a poorly lit room, the four walls begin to close in. The door creaks, it swings open and the shadow of the doctor appears before him.
He approaches and extends his hand outward to Trent and then to me. He positions himself upon the stool and swivels to square his shoulders to align with Trent.
With a heavy sigh he releases three words. “It is cancer.” Our world comes to a halt. The weight of the cross presses down upon Trent’s body. He closes his eyes and hope is found.
Three words begin to replay in his mind, but not those that the enemy wanted him to focus on. Instead he heard the voice of his little brother, Leo. “I See Jesus.” Peace envelopes him. He is able to see a bigger picture. One where Jesus is the leader and he intimately follows.
We can never fully grasp why we endure hardship. In the midst of our pain it can be easy to get lost in our suffering. Yet, it was Jesus that turned our pain into joy.
Trent demonstrated such strength. His response to his diagnosis inspired me and all those around him. He refused to let cancer control his thoughts. He defeated the enemy because he chose to wear the armor of God.
Just like strapping on his safety belt for power lifting, he wore the Belt of Truth and dug deeper into the Word. He protected his heart with the Breastplate of Righteousness. In his endless walks, he stepped while wearing the Shoes of Peace. He protected his mind by being in the Word covering his whole self with the Shield of Faith. Just like the endless times that he strapped on his gear for referring hockey, he wore the Helmet of Salvation. And to keep the enemy at bay, he shared with others the Gospel. He held the Sword of the Spirit proudly with both hands. Proclaiming to those around him what Jesus had done in his life.
Reminders of Trent surround me everyday. Songs that he loved come on at just the right time. The whisper of his voice heard in the wind. The shadow of him appearing out of the corner of my eye. The worn boards on my hardwood floors where his feet rested at every meal. The smell of his favorite foods cooking. A hawk that appears just when I need him to.
Three years have passed since I last held him. Three years since his beautiful blue eyes locked with mine uttering the words, “I love you, Mother.” Sometimes, it feels like only yesterday.
Then there are moments that I sense the memories fading away from my thoughts. I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to let go. My mind may grow weaker, but my heart will only grow stronger.
You are forever etched within my soul Trent. For you were stitched together by God in my womb and He now uses the same thread to gently stitch together and heal my heart.
Through your trial you were refined. In your darkest days you allowed Jesus to be your light. You listened to the voice of the Holy Spirit and allowed Him to calm your storm. You did not let your situation give you doubt, instead you trusted God. Your faith helped others believe!
God makes it possible to simultaneously be in the valley while he raises you to the mountain top.
This weekend, our hearts are heavy as we remember the loss of Trent. But God made it possible for us to find celebration in the midst of our sorrow, through the joy of, “Living Life with Leo.”
The final book in the series was strategically released this weekend to honor Trent and the resilience that my family has shown. So I will praise Him in the valley. I will praise Him on the mountain top. I will praise Him every step in between.
Thank you Trent for the life you lived and the love you gave. Although you were the one with strength, I promise to always carry you with me. I will forever love you.
